Do you know what saddens and surprises me? The number of articles and ads I have seen that talk about "How to Love Your Lady Parts" only to end up recommending a labiaplasty. What?
In addition to a society that already encourages us to loathe our bodies, our curves, or any 'imperfections', now we have to dislike our vulvas as well! It breaks my heart.
How is it possible that our society is marketing and applauding labiaplasty as the only way to love our lady parts?
While I completely support women choosing their own path with their bodies and doing what they feel is necessary to find self-acceptance and peace, I want women to know there is another way. Getting a labiaplasty is not a true fix and I want to help you find how to completely love your yoni.
I'm here today to teach you six steps for learning to love your yoni -- and better yet, your entire self! -- exactly as it is. My passion is teaching women how to step into their feminine power and experience radical, complete self-acceptance.
How To Love Your Yoni
Through my many years of experience working with women on self-acceptance and love, here are six of my favourite ways to learn to cherish, embrace, and love your yoni exactly how it is.
1. Look At Your Yoni
I can't tell you the number of women I've worked with who have never actually looked at their yoni. This is why the first step is truly getting to know what your vulva looks like.
If you want to experience complete self-acceptance, you must get fully acquainted with every inch of your body, including your yoni.
To reclaim your truth and step into your power, start by looking at your vagina -- frequently -- with a hand mirror in a well-lit room.
Is there a chance you will feel uncomfortable or uncertain at first? Yes. This is totally normal and no reason to judge yourself. Simply keep developing that relationship with yourself and appreciating the progress you are making.
When exploring and discovering your yoni, it can be helpful to keep a journal tracking what you see and what you are experiencing. Work on being objective and non-judgmental.
2. Have Your Partner Look at Your Yoni
If you are looking to go deeper in your exploration, get your partner involved. Lie on your back and spread your legs apart as your partner sits in front of you. Ask them to describe the shape, texture, and colour of your yoni. Tell to them be honest without being critical or judgmental.
Since we are often our own worst critic, it can help to have a trusted partner describe what they see. It can be an enlightening experience that helps draw you closer together as well as start to diminish any negativity you feel about your yoni.
A great time to do this is right away after a relaxing soak in the tub or after being intimate.
Bonus: If you are feeling especially adventurous and courageous, look at your yoni together. With your partner sitting behind you, recline in their lap and open your legs. Using a hand mirror, have a look at your yoni together. Describe what you see with the same non-judgmental, honest observations.
Double Bonus: If you don't already walk around naked or let your partner see you in the light, start! Let your partner feast their eyes on every perfect inch of you.
3. Watch Out for Skewed Imagery
It is important to be aware that the majority of erotic imagery we are exposed to in porn is extremely biased. Sometimes this includes digital altering or only featuring actresses who have undergone labiaplasties.
Even though we may not realize it, this imagery still impacts our mind on a subconscious level. This can be counterproductive to the yoni-loving progress we are trying to make.
During your process of learning to fully love and accept your yoni, pay close attention to the images you allow yourself to be exposed to. Comparing what is in between your legs to what you see in porn can set you back in your progress.
4. Look At Other Yonis
As I just mentioned, we have been unfairly subjected to unrealistic ideals in terms of what our yonis should look like. To help combat these limited ideals, it can help to view the diverse types of yonis that actually exist.
While I stick by my last suggestion of limiting porn or forgoing it entirely during this process, I do encourage viewing images that feature an assortment of realistic yoni depictions from throughout the world.
Some of my favorite resources that celebrate honest, lovely representations of yonis include:
It can be extremely helpful and healing to see the range of vaginas that exist outside of the world of porn. Seeing a wide array of yonis with varying colours, sizes, and shapes, can be very helpful in accepting and embracing your yoni's uniqueness.
5. Treat Your Yoni With Complete Respect
Do not ever refer to your yoni in any derogatory way. Promise yourself that you will only speak about your vagina in positive, respectful terms and descriptions. If needed, you can have your partner help hold you accountable.
6. Create Healthy Yoni-Loving Mantras
Every day -- as many times as you can remember -- speak beautiful words to yourself and your yoni.
You can repeat whatever phrases feel best to you, but here are some of my favourites to get you started:
My vulva is beautiful just as it is
I love myself and I love my yoni
My yoni is unique and that is what makes it so beautiful
My yoni is a sacred temple
My vagina is sacred and I embrace it and accept it
Every part of me is sacred
My yoni is desirable
My yoni is perfect
Upon reading these words, you may feel like you will never actually believe them. Say them to yourself anyway. Often.
Say them to yourself throughout the day. Say these phrases to yourself as you look in the mirror. Say them to yourself as you look at your vagina. Repeat. Repeat. And repeat again.
Breathe in love, compassion, and acceptance and feel the beautiful effect this positive energy imparts on your entire body, including your yoni.
These phrases can be truly regenerative and healing in nature. Said often enough, these words possess the power to dispell falsehoods and guide you toward true self-acceptance. Your yoni craves these life-giving, supportive words!
If we to be truly sexually liberated and completely connected to our erotic side, the first step is accepting every part of ourselves, including our genitals.
This process of accepting your vulva requires patience, compassion, mindfulness, and tender care. Remember to go easy on yourself and be proud of every little bit of progress you make along the way.
As always, I want you to know how proud of you I am for embracing your feminine power. It takes dedication to wholly connect to our erotic selves.
If you have been living with negative self-talk surrounding your yoni and limited ideas, this process may feel extremely difficult at first. Please know that I believe in you and am with you every step of the way.
My facebook group is a safe space, open to any women wanting to empower herself, enjoy her full sexual potential, and experience self-acceptance. Ask me any question, any time, in this private, accepting environment.