The Link Between ADHD & Excessive Vibrator Use

Note: none of this article is to be considered professional medical advice. It’s written by an individual and her specific experience with ADHD and excessive virbrator use.
   - Submitted anonymously by one of our The Golden Yoni Membership members.

 

How it started...

It was a Saturday afternoon, we had some family over for lunch and everyone was having a good chat. I snuck off to the “bathroom” only to grab my trusty bullet vibrator and quickly get off before returning to the group…

This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. 

  • I used my vibrator to procrastinate.
  • I used my vibrator with my morning coffee.
  • I even pulled over on the side of the road in the middle of a 3 hour drive to use my vibrator because I was bored.
  • I would be reading a book and buzzing away at the same time - and the books weren’t even erotic. I literally couldn’t stop.

There were days I would “masturbate” up to 20 times a day.

My sex life massively suffered because my clitoris became so numb that my partners could never get me to climax.

And it’s not until now, 10 years later - and 7 years on from what I consider to have been absolutely excessive vibrator use, that I have realised this may have actually been attributed to undiagnosed ADHD.

Looking at my own personal habits and now going through the diagnosis process for ADHD at 33 years old, I’m looking at patterns that have occurred in my life as a way to get dopamine hits. To catch a buzz.

 

You see, someone with ADHD has a deficiency in dopamine and we need regular hits to maintain momentum.

We fall into scroll holes on social media searching for something to get a dopamine hit from, we LOVE checking things off a to-do list, impulsive spending, often turning to drugs and alcohol to get a hit.
Ironically, depending on the drug of choice, they don’t have the desired effect. A lot of “recreational drugs” make us productive as hell instead of high and zen. So I dunno, it’s kind of a win because we almost never feel like we are productive because we get bored easily doing the same task - so we switch tasks 100 times a day and ….. search for a dopamine hit.

For a few years that dopamine hit was vibrator use.

When I first started using my vibrator, it was in an attempt to reconnect with my body after experiencing sexual trauma at 21. I very quickly realised that these genital sneezes gave me a bit of a kick and it was no longer about connecting and healing but how many kicks can I get a day?

The start of overcoming...

One of my impulse purchases was a Nephrite Jade Egg and that changed everything. While it was so hard to ditch the vibrator - if it wasn’t for my Jade Egg, I don’t know if I ever would have. And as a result of that, I don’t know that I would ever be in the happy, healthy & sexually satisfying relationship that I’m in now and have been for the last 7 years.

The Jade Egg enabled me to slow down and ACTUALLY connect with my body.
I used the Jade Egg to not only heal my vagina, but to re-sensitise my clitoris through slow, intentional stimulation with my egg externally. I was able to enjoy clitoral orgasms that were far beyond any genital sneeze that I got from my vibrator.

This wasn’t an overnight thing of course. There were times I’d use my vibrator with my yoni egg inside me and that was epic. But it definitely took away from the magic and connection I felt with the egg.

I was already into reiki and healing, I used my yoni egg religiously in my reiki practice and meditation. I healed wounds and trauma that I didn’t know existed. I started to create a real ritual around my egg practice and have since cultivated such a beautiful relationship with myself and my partner.

The use of my yoni egg helped me to get out of my head and feel every thing when I am engaged in pleasure practice, whether that is with a partner or solo. Before my egg, everything was focused on that end goal of “getting off”. I was missing out on so much.

By numbing myself so completely with the intense vibration - which was almost never intense enough because the more I used it, the less I felt. The more I used it, the more I needed to use it. It completely took away from the pleasure for the sake of pleasure. 

It took a while to gain the courage to ditch the vibrator, but I'm so glad I did. For a few months I was just dramatically reducing my use and the yoni egg certainly helped me with that process. After maybe 3 or 4 months, I decided that I needed to get rid of my vibing collection completely and I went without for about 4 years.

Where I'm at now...

Now I feel comfortable enough to use a vibrator from time to time to spice things up with my partner, but I have to make a conscious choice to not default to reaching for the vibe when I'm not having a great day.
The temptation is definitely still there - it's so accessible, I work from home and it's right there in my bedroom, it would be so easy to just go and get a quick hit. To manage that temptation now I will often turn to journaling or texting my bestie, we have the greatest conversations via voice message and I get a real dopamine hit from that.
Going outside into the sunshine helps too.

In my reflection, I’ve come to realise that this addictive and quite honestly, obsessive behaviour is absolutely linked to my ADHD and craving dopamine hits that I simply couldn’t achieve elsewhere.

I think my excessive vibrator use contributed to my social anxiety and anti social behaviour - I mean... I was literally disappearing from events to use it - clearly that's a problem. In the last year I have completely overcome my social anxiety through EFT tapping which has been completely transformative and using that technique has also helped me to curb those cravings for an unhealthy dopamine hit.

Being inside The Golden Yoni Membership has really supported me in my endeavour to heal and reconnect with my sexuality, my yoni & my pleasure. The experience and community there is so empowering and safe.

 

Have you had an experience like this?
Let us know in the comments below or jump over to Instagram and send us a DM!

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