Have you noticed that sex scenes often portray women as the object of desire rather than the subject of enjoyment? Or that sex education diagrams often leave out the clitoris when explaining female anatomy?
Our society has misled women into thinking we do not deserve pleasure and that it is immoral, unacceptable, and wrong of us to enjoy ourselves.
It's time we crushed these notions.
If you find something relaxing, delicious, enjoyable, orgasmic, or amazing, let yourself be fully present in the moment and free of guilt or assumptions.
Here, we'll look at four tips for how to explore and embrace pleasure as a woman.
4 Tips For Embracing and Owning Your Pleasure
1. You Are Entitled To Pleasure
Pleasure is not something you earn. Pleasure is something you deserve. It is that simple.
Once you embrace the idea that you are entitled to pleasure, it becomes easier to seek out and enjoy emotional, physical, and mental pleasure.
2. Discover What You Deem Pleasurable
Along with trying to place limits or restrictions on your pleasure, society also likes to dictate what we should find pleasurable. Generally, society likes to make us think that pricey experiences equal pleasure. Think expensive beauty treatments, foods, or clothes that are supposed to make us feel better about ourselves and enjoy life more.
This makes it important to look carefully as what society is trying to convince you is pleasurable versus what you genuinely enjoy.
3. Be Careful of False Pleasures
False pleasure is something we have convinced ourselves should be enjoyable. However, these activities lead to depletion and exhaustion rather than relaxation, euphoria, and satisfaction.
To determine real vs. false pleasure, consider how you feel before, during, and after an activity. Are you binge watching a tv show, eating even after you are full, or zoning out during sex? Using experiences to numb yourself or escape from life is often something to be careful of.
Rather, true pleasure is fulfilling, enjoyable, replenishing, and something you want to be fully present for. It serves as a form of enjoyment, not an escape or numbing mechanism.
If you have relied on false pleasures to feel good, that does not mean there is something wrong with you or that you are bad. It is totally normal, and we have all done it. But it does mean there is room for improvement -- and room for more pleasure to be had! So, start paying attention to what you find enjoyable, why you enjoy it, and how you feel afterward.
4. Talk With Your Girlfriends
Once you start discovering the joys of embracing pleasure and disregarding society's false, outdated limits and pressures, it is important to help the women around you as well.
Normalize talking with your girlfriends about sex, masturbation, your favourite shows and foods, your favourite sex toys and positions, the hobbies you love, and pleasurable activities you love. Help your girlfriends understand they deserve pleasure and simply need to embrace it.
Are You Struggling To Embrace Pleasure?
If you are struggling to discover and embrace what you find pleasurable, I am here to help support and guide you along the way. From my workshops and coaching to my blogs and products, everything I do is intended to help you discover more about yourself, embrace your sexuality, and fall in love with yourself!
I invite you to join my private, women's only Facebook group, a safe, sacred space where you can confidently ask questions, talk about sex, relationships, and masturbation, and connect with other women.