Pleasure is your birthright and sex is one of the most beautiful ways that we experience it and deepen our connection with ourselves and with others.

So it can be incredibly frustrating and discouraging to experience pain whilst having sex. While painful sex is somewhat common, it's not necessarily normal. An estimated three out of four women (75%) experience painful sex at some point in their lives. 

If you've had a difficult time finding the validation, answers, and tools that you need to address this pain you're not alone. While this is not meant to be taken as medical advice, we want to offer some guidance on why you might be experiencing painful sex –– and what to do about it.

Understanding painful sex

Painful sex can include pain externally on your vulva or internally in the vagina, pelvis, or uterus. 

Different types of pain may help you understand what the underlying cause is. For example, entry pain (pain at the entrance of your vagina) may be caused by vaginal dryness or injury. Positional pain is often related to pelvic floor muscles, dryness, or infection. While deep pain is often related to issues that affect your bladder or bowels, endometriosis, or issues with the pelvic floor.

Painful sex is typically caused by one of three things: 

1) Reproductive health disorders

The first thing to look at if you’re dealing with painful sex is if you have any reproductive health disorders. 

One of the most common causes of painful sex is vaginal dryness. This is not necessarily a disorder and is often just due to a change in hormones as you age –– yet it can still affect your sex life. 

Some people choose to undergo hormone therapy, but lube is a great addition no matter what you decide to do. Our Yinn Water Based Lubricant ($49 AUD) is great for sustained lubrication and can be used with toys of all different materials.

 

 

Other reproductive health disorders that can cause painful sex include:

• Endometriosis

• Bowel problems like IBS or ulcerative colitis

• Bladder problems like urinary frequency or chronic UTIs

• Pelvic floor dysfunction such as problems with the ligaments and muscles

• Pinched nerves or nerve inflammation in the area

• Vaginismus (pelvic tension)

• Vulvodynia can cause pain in the vulvar area

• Infections like yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, herpes, or other STIs

Of course, it’s important to talk to your medical provider about any pain you may be experiencing, especially if it may be due to a chronic health issue or infection.

This Sync Balm ($49 AUD) can help ease period pain and may help relax your body enough to ease some of the discomfort you’re experiencing with sex.

2) Stress and mental health issues

Stress is the antithesis of pleasure. Life can throw all sorts of curveballs at you and sometimes stress is inevitable, but constantly being in a state of stress or dealing with other mental health issues can potentially cause painful sex.

Know that it’s not your fault if you’re struggling with your mental health, but it is up to you to take the steps necessary to feel better in your mind and body. Try starting with nervous system regulating practices like deep breathing and mindful movement. It can also be incredibly helpful to go to therapy, especially with a therapist who understands sexual wellness.

Stress can also be a contributing factor in vaginismus. Vaginal Dilators ($119 AUD) are tube-shaped instruments that can be used to gently stretch the vagina. They are helpful when the vagina has become narrowed from chronic pelvic floor tension, vaginismus, dyspareunia (painful sex), and other medical reasons.

 

 

3) Energetic blocks

Energetic blocks can be linked to both physical and mental issues, but are more subtle. They may have started off as physical or mental issues that have developed into energetic blocks and vice versa.

These types of blocks can be caused by stories you hold around your sexuality and pleasure that can then lead to painful sex. This often causes us to be too switched on and engaged, causing sexual bracing through the pelvic floor to prevent penetration from happening. 

With these types of blocks, it’s important to really focus on de-armoring the yoni by softening and relaxing these muscles. The Cervix Serpent™ Glass Dildo Pleasure Wand ($99 AUD) is incredible for cervical self-massage to help release and soften knots of tension and numbness inside the vagina, which will lead to more pleasure and orgasmic potential.

 

Don’t forget to try this Cervix Serpent Guided Audio Ritual ($44 AUD) to go along with your wand. This is a yoni de-armouring guided ritual.

Any crystal wand is also incredibly impactful when it comes to energetic blocks around painful sex thanks to the natural healing properties of crystals. 

 

 

The Rose Curve Crystal Dildo ($220 AUD) helps women access more sensation in their vagina, unlocking deeper internal orgasms whilst also unlocking a sense of sexual healing. Made from rose quartz, this gentle stone can amplify your practices in self-love, self-acceptance, and compassion while you release unexpected emotions and heartache.

 

Go at your own pace and revel in over 14 modules of sexually empowering masterclasses, tutorials, guided meditations, guest interviews and practical yoni egg exercises plus a monthly women's sister circle on Zoom on the first Wednesday of every month. If you desire consistency, connection and community, this VIP Golden Yoni portal is the perfect place to be. Sign up now for only $40/month with no lock in contracts.