When was the last time you spent three entire hours completely focused on and connected with your partner without distraction (no, sleeping does not count). Has it been years and years? Ever?
In our busy, go-go-go lifestyles, it can be easy to get distracted and disconnected from our partner. Between work, projects, bills, kids, pets, and life in general, our relationships can take a back seat.
This is where I have something of the utmost important to tell you: Slowwwww dowwwwwwwn. Wherever possible. Slow the thoughts racing in your mind, take slow deliberate breaths, take a break from work if you can, and -- most importantly -- slow down when it comes to sex.
4 Reasons To Slow Down Your Sex
Deliberately taking time to savour and concentrate on your partner can have magical results for your sex life and overall relationship. Here are 4 reasons to set aside some extra time in the bedroom.
1. Slower Sex Can Help Men Last Longer
Men suffering from sexual dysfunction or premature ejaculation often struggle due to expectations they have based around their performance. Often, men think they have to live up to what they see in porn or set rigid expectations for themselves. This kind of pressure shifts the focus away from the present moment and acts as a huge mood killer.
Another problem: the jackrabbit method of thrusting fast and furiously. Sure, some women may love this or want to you go fast and hard at a certain point, but to do this from start to finish can get old.
Slow down, pay attention to your partner's moans, ask what feels best to your partner, eliminate any expectations of yourself, and immerse yourself in the present moment. Also, keep in mind that it often takes longer for a woman to reach climax than a man. So slowing down and focusing on your partner instead may help amp up their pleasure and get them to climax before you do.
Slowing down also helps you feel more connected, increases intimacy, and opens up the chance to explore and learn exactly what feels good to each other.
2. Slower Sex Can Lead to Mind-Blowing, Full-Body Orgasms
As mentioned above, women may sometimes take longer than men to reach orgasm, making it important to slow down and create the necessary time and space for a woman to completely soak up the experience, relax, and surrender to pleasure.
Yes, quickies have their place, but 5 minute sex or even 15 minutes or 30 minutes of sex most likely won't leave enough time for a full-body, life-changing orgasm.
The longer sex lasts and the more slow and deliberate it is, the higher the chance of reaching an earth-shattering climax. Maybe you'll finally discover the G-spot, practice edging (a perfect complement to slower sex), or discover what a cervical orgasm feels like.
3. It Faciltates Presence and Safety
For a woman to feel complete surrender, she must first feel completely safe, cared for, respected, and loved the presence of her partner.
This level of intimacy and safety can be hard to reach in a matter of minutes. So soak each other in and enjoy the moment fully.
4. Slower Sex Enhances Intimacy
It is no surprise that slower sex can help you feel more connected to your partner than ever. This level of connection will almost certainly lead to a healthier and happier relationship.
Rather than the fast and furious, goal-oriented, male-focused pleasure we often see in porn, slow sex is highly arousing and can heighten physical sensations. Slower sex involving caressing, embracing, deliberate focus, and feelings of closeness can also amp up oxytocin production.
How Do I Slow Down During Sex?
Here are some hot tips for slowing down sex with your partner:
Read this article to your partner
Check out the book "Slow Sex" by Nicole Daedone
Look up "OMing"
Create a beautiful space with comfy cushions, pillows, cosy blankets, and whatever makes you feel relaxed.
Spend some time looking into each other's eyes as you sit cross-legged opposite from each other (start with a minute or two and build up to 5 minutes and so on)
Aim to set aside at least one day a week devoted to slow sex
Have some fun experimenting with learning to listen with your hands (blindfolds anyone?)
Allow for slow, smooth, soft movements, touches, and penetration. If your partner is a man and he occasionally goes soft during slow sex, no worries. This is normal and it will get hard again. In the meantime, continue to explore each other, soak each other in, and let him focus on often ignored areas of pleasure (inner thighs, nipples, the backs of the knees, the nape of the neck, the small of the back, etc.)
Do You Need To Slow Down?
Do you have any areas you need to slow down in your life? Have you ever tried slowing down your sex? I'd love to hear in the comment section below.
Also, I invite you to join my private facebook group, a safe space for discussing all things sex and pleasure and learning more about techniques, connecting with other women, and discovering more about yourself.
Wishing you love, light, and beautiful, deliberate, slooowwwwww sex!