Libido is not a static thing, i.e. “high” vs “low” libido. No, libido can change on a daily basis and with different seasons in life. 

Things like hormonal fluctuations, stress, kids, work changes, and basically anything else can affect your libido. You also may be someone whose libido depends on whether or not you’re in a relationship or dating someone.

If you feel like your sexuality ebbs and flows –– you’re not alone! Or if you’re in a lull right now, that’s ok too. 

Even though it’s totally natural for your libido to fluctuate, there are still steps you can take to be proactive about rebuilding it. Here are three of them!

 

1) Understand different types of desire 

 

Human sexuality is incredibly complex.

Part of the reason it’s so complex is every person is different. Different needs, different types of desire, and different ways of relating to their sexuality. 

Just how much can desire fluctuate you ask? Well, there are two main types of desire –– spontaneous and responsive. Before we get into it, understand that both are valid and important! One is not better than the other.

If you tend to only feel aroused in “response” to a stimulus like kissing or having an emotional connection with someone, then you likely have a responsive sexual desire (which is more common for women). Spontaneous sexual desire, as you can probably guess, is when it can seemingly pop up out of nowhere.

So if you don’t feel like you have a high libido, or if it feels dependent on something else stirring it –– know that you’re not broken, you likely just have a responsive sexual desire. You also can take other steps to help increase your overall libido. 

You can learn more about the different types of desire and practical tools for reconnecting with your sexuality, your body, and your partner(s) in our Unlocking Sexual Desire Masterclass ($44 AUD), led by our founder, Rosie Rees.

 

 

In this workshop, Rosie will help you explore the complexities of sexual desire, debunk myths about low libido, and guide you through practical tools to reconnect with your body and passion. It is available à la carte, as well as inside the Golden Yoni Membership. 

 

2) Address any physical blocks

 

So many things can come up that may affect your libido –– especially physical and emotional blocks. 

Physical blocks that can affect your libido include:

• Hormonal changes like with (peri)menopause or postpartum
• Pelvic floor injuries
• Reproductive health or vaginal disorders
• Other health issues

Of course, if you’re experiencing any health issues, be sure to talk to your doctor about the best treatment for your body. That being said, there are plenty of things you can do to help remove these blocks on your own.

For example, if you’re someone who experiences frequent vaginal imbalances, changing your diet can help make your vagina happier, thus increasing your libido. Our Secret Ceres Wand - Vaginal Tightening Herbal Stick ($132 AUD) can also help.

 

 

This stick naturally cleanses and purifies the vagina. It balances the vaginal pH –– which is often too acidic and allows for the growth of unwanted bacteria. By balancing your pH levels, the Secret Ceres may help eliminate any unpleasant odor and discharge. 

 

3) Self-reflect

 

When you feel like your libido is low, it can be easy to get in your head or feel ashamed about it. Again remember that you’re not broken, but you can change things if you choose to do so. 

Take some time to reflect on what feelings come up around your sexuality. You can do this with a therapist or in your journal. 

Ask yourself:

• What is my libido like generally?
• What would I like my sex life to look like?
• What blocks or stories come up when I think about my sexuality and libido?

When these thoughts or stories come up, while some of them require deeper healing and exploration, you can help diffuse them by shifting them into something that’s more constructive. 

For example, if you feel like you’re not worthy of pleasure or you’re bored with your sex life, it can be incredibly helpful to make a shift so you’re focusing on exploration. This means exploring different sensations and desires –– with or without a partner.

The Fleur ($220 AUD) is perfect for exploring thanks to its adaptability. With a gentle curve, one hooked bulbous end and a three-tiered ribbed end, allows for both G-spot stimulation (using the hooked end) and anal pleasure (using the beaded end). 

 

 

Just be sure to use lots of lube during anal play and thoroughly clean the wand –– especially if you’re using it for both purposes.

 

For exploring as a couple, we love the Suki or Flick Cock Ring Vibrators ($110 AUD). Designed to wrap around a penis, pleasure wand, dildo or strap-on, the Flick stimulates the clitoris in a tongue-flicking fashion and the Suki stimulates the clitoris tongue-sucking fashion.

Go at your own pace and revel in over 14 modules of sexually empowering masterclasses, tutorials, guided meditations, guest interviews and practical yoni egg exercises plus a monthly women's sister circle on Zoom on the first Wednesday of every month. If you desire consistency, connection and community, this VIP Golden Yoni portal is the perfect place to be. Sign up now for only $40/month with no lock in contracts.