Four Ways to Navigate Postpartum Sex
If you’ve just had a baby or are currently pregnant, BIG congratulations to you. Woohoo!
Your life is about to get turned upside down in the most beautiful and unexpected ways – even if this isn’t your first kid. One of the biggest changes you may experience is in your relationship, especially when it comes to sex.
Your body is different, your schedule is all topsy turvy, and your emotions may be as well. It may take some time and guidance for you and your partner to find a good rhythm again – but you will get there. We’re here to help with our top tips on postpartum sex!
1) Take your time
There is absolutely no rush to get back to where you were before in your sex life. While sex is still an important part of most relationships, your priorities have changed, you’re likely sleep-deprived, and your body has gone through a huge transformation.
Everything has changed biologically as well. In the postpartum period your energy is being directed towards caring for your baby and its survival, putting your libido on the back burner.
First, you want to make sure you’re physically ready and get the go-ahead from your OB or midwife – especially if you experienced any birth injury like a tear or if you had a C-section. It's recommended to wait to have any type of sex or penetration until at least six weeks postpartum. If you are experiencing pain during or outside of intercourse, or other symptoms, you may want to seek out a pelvic floor physical therapist or other provider who can help you heal.
Once you’re physically ready, you still might not feel up to it for a while, and that’s totally ok! Your libido will come back eventually, it can just take some time – or a good night’s sleep!
There's no specific time-line for postpartum sex. Postpartum can last two or more years, so be gentle with yourself.
2) Communicate with your partner
Communicating with your partner is key as you adapt to this new normal, including when it comes to your sex life. Your partner probably won’t ever fully understand what you’re going through (unless they’ve also given birth), and that’s ok.
But it’s just as important for you to communicate what you're experiencing as it is for them to hold space for you and your feelings. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, disconnected from your body, or just aren’t feeling it – let them know.
Or maybe you want to start having sex again but you just don’t know how to go about it or are scared it will hurt or be uncomfortable. By communicating with your partner, you can figure out a plan that will work for both of you.
3) Explore other types of intimacy
As nice as sex is, sometimes you just need time and space to reconnect with your partner, even if it’s just cuddling on the couch while the baby naps. Penetrative sex may not be on the table right now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t nurture your connection with your partner in other ways.
Being tender together by cuddling, making out, receiving massages, and communicating openly can help keep you grounded when you’re tired and adapting to this huge lifestyle shift. It also lays the foundation for a healthy sex life when you are ready to get back to it.
If you still want to be sexual with your partner without penetrative sex, you have plenty of other options!
4) Use protection
No, not that kind of protection. You’re probably good in that department for a while (don’t take our word for it though!).
While most postpartum bleeding stops around six weeks postpartum, you may still experience some while you’re having sex. If you’re lactating, you also may leak a bit here and there. Postpartum sex can be messy, so be sure to protect your mattress with our Waterproof Squirt™️ Blanket Fitted Sheet available in Moon Blood, Black, and Sand.
It’s also common to experience vaginal dryness postpartum. You can protect your vagina from abrasion and discomfort by using a lube like Slippery Coco (awesome for sensitive postpartum skin) or our Yinn Water-Based Lubricant – which is safe to use with condoms.
Many people report that their sex lives got better after giving birth, so be patient with yourself (or your partner) and enjoy this magical time in your life!
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