3 Ways to Explore Bisexuality, Unicorns & Threesomes Within A Healthy Marriage

Have you ever wanted to explore your bisexuality within your marriage or relationship but didn’t know where to begin or how to explore it in a healthy way without jeopardising your relationship?

Well, we have some good news! Couples Sexuality Counsellor Lahnee Pavlovich and her photographer hubby, Pablo, are a success story when it comes to having "unicorns", exploring threesomes, open-relating, holding sex parties AND remaining happily married. Yep, it's totally possible! 

The term unicorn in dating refers to an individual who is willing to join an existing relationship. This is going to become a romantic partner who will have sex and become romantically involved with both members of the original relationship.

Yoni Pleasure Palace founder, Rosie Rees interviewed Lahnee inside the Golden Yoni Membership to discuss in depth how her and Pablo, who have been together for 16 years (married for 10), opened up their relationship six years ago. 

Lahnee identifies as being bisexual, which defined is as "having an attraction to two or more genders, which can include binary and non-binary genders." The workshop is particularly helpful for women who are in a long-term relationship or marriage (same-sex or heterosexual), whom identify as bisexual or bicurious and desire sexual exploration with another woman. 

Here are our top three juicy pieces of advice Lahnee shared inside the workshop. We also highly recommend subscribing to the membership for $40 and hot-footing it to Module 13 to watch the 60 minute live interview!

1. Over Communicate With Your Partner Before Anything Happens 

In order to create safety within the relationship, it's important to talk about everything before anything actually happens. If there is no safety created through communication, the experience may go terribly pear-shaped, fast! By speaking out-aloud with your partner your fears and desires, it begins to normalise it and as Lahnee shares in the workshop, "it helps transform the fears into a fantasy".

Lahnee shares how her and Pablo had been speaking about opening up their relationship to threesomes and swinging for YEARS before the time actually came to bringing in a woman to their sexual relationship. Lahnee and Pablo spoke in-depth about things that would make them feel insecure, jealous, fearful, worried as well as horny, turned-on and excited, and how to deal with awkward situations if and when they arose. You've both gotta be on the same team! 

2. Know Your "Couple Intention" for Sexploration

It's also important to talk about your intention for wanting to bring in a woman to the dynamic and how you might expect it to play out. For example if you're wanting to fill a void by inviting a woman into your relationship, it may not be a great experience because you're doing it out of a place of lack and because you feel something is missing in your relationship. However if you're wanting to enhance your relationship by bringing someone in, it can be a beautiful experience both individually and as a couple.

Lahnee advises to "make no assumptions" and get on the same page as your partner to avoid jealousy melt-downs. If you both know the experience is for fun and pleasure, rather than for catching feelings and adding in a new person to your relationship, then you will feel more at ease to let go and enjoy the experience. Letting the Unicorn know your intention as a couple is also important so there is no assumptions, disappointments or expectations.  

3. Create Healthy Boundaries 

Boundaries make for good sex! When inviting someone into your relationship or bedroom, physical and non-physical boundaries make you feel respected, safe, seen and heard. Early on in the experience of exploring her bisexuality within her relationship, Lahnee shares some mistakes and lessons they learnt about not creating enough boundaries. Here are a list of example boundaries that Lahnee discusses in the workshop:

• Contraception is to be worn at all times. 
• Share any physical boundaries (i.e. no anal penetration)
• Have a safe word! (Lahnee shares in the live workshop about a bad experience with a couple they met on Red Hot Pie) 
• No sleep-overs (unless discussed prior).
• No sex on the first date (always meet for coffee or a drink first to check they are the right person).
• Sexual connection with the Unicorn is to be kept between the arrangement of the couple - not alone.
• Keep all communication between the three of you to the group message on WhatsApp (or whatever messaging app you use)

Lahnee is a wealth of knowledge because a) she's an expert and coaches couples for a living on topics like this and b) she is living and breathing this lifestyle with her husband. For a list of her services click here. 

If you’re wanting to explore your bisexuality, join our Facebook group ‘Girl Meet Girl’ for women to meet other lesbians, bisexual women, bicurious or babes wanting to invite in a unicorn into the bedroom.

In our live workshop we also touch on the following points: 

• How to manage jealousy, possessiveness and insecurity that arises.
• The difference (and spectrum) between monogamy, poly, open relating and swingers.
• How to meet a unicorn and why Red Hot Pie or Kink parties might not be the place. 
• How a sex worker might be a great place to start for your first time and why.
• Tips on how to relax, have fun and enjoy the experience 

Comment below with your experience on exploring your bisexuality within your relationship or marriage and share any "ahah" moments you had whilst reading this blog or watching our workshop together. If you would love to meet a girl, join Girl Meet Girl by clicking the image below. 

SIGN UP TO THE GOLDEN YONI HERE