Do you feel safe and confident voicing your needs and boundaries during sex? Do you find yourself wishing your partner did more – or less – of a certain move or technique?
Many women struggle to voice their desires and concerns during sex (and sometimes in other areas of life as well).
If you struggle to speak your needs, you aren’t alone and there is nothing wrong with you – but it is definitely something to be aware of and work on.
If you feel a calling to work on empowering yourself through your voice, read on to learn all about the vocal vaginal connection and how to use it to reclaim your sexuality.
Discovering the Connection Between the Throat and the Yoni
Have you ever looked at a picture of the throat and the vagina? They look surprisingly similar.
And remember how the G-spot is often described as having a raised texture, similar to the surface of the roof of your mouth?
The vagina and vocal cords share an intimate, sacred connection that is both physical and energetic. They share a remarkable number of similarities in how they look, their muscular support, and their structure.
Both serve as a pathway to the outside world and involve rapid, rhythmic muscular pulses in response to stimulation. The same way singing vibrates your vocal cords, think of how your yoni responds with vibrations and contractions when stimulated.
The vagus nerve – the body's largest nerve – also connects the throat and the pelvic region. This important sensory nerve can be stimulated in various ways, including with sound and deep breathing.
What Happens If the Yoni and Throat Experience a Disconnection?
Because of their intimate connection, shutting down your voice can directly affect your yoni and vice versa.
Think of the way anxiety impacts your body and breathing, often causing shallow breathing and tense shoulders. This tightness and shallow breathing can translate to tension and discomfort in your pelvic floor as well.
Benefits of Deepening the Connection Between the Yoni and the Throat
The good news? You can practice simple vocal exercises to improve the connection between your yoni and throat to experience amazing benefits, such as:
- Increased sexual pleasure
- A boost of confidence in the bedroom
- Increased self-confidence
- A deep love for your yoni
- Enhanced ability to own and appreciate your sexuality
- Improved personal boundaries
A Daily Voice Practice to Reclaim Your Sexual Power
We’ve been conditioned to focus on male pleasure as a priority. But women are reclaiming their power and breaking free of these outdated notions.
Chanting, humming, and singing daily is a powerful way to deepen your awareness of the connection between your voice and your yoni.
To get more comfortable with your voice, try:
- Singing or chanting every day
- Humming, especially if you are enjoying something
- Laughing out loud
- Making an audible sound, such as “mmmm”, when you eat something you enjoy
- Practicing deep breathing techniques in tandem with your vocalisations (the diaphragm massages the vagus nerve and helps soothe the nervous system and ease tension)
- Stating intentions, screaming, talking dirty, speaking, or singing to yourself in the mirror
- Making noises of all tones and types
- Creating your own sensual vocal practice (more on this later)
Allow yourself to be as loud or quiet as you want and experience any emotions that come forward. Free yourself of any judgment and focus on how your yoni responds when you open your throat and release tension.
Starting Your Own Sensual Vocal Practice
Along with daily singing and humming, try this sensual vocal practice to increase awareness, decrease tension, and promote energy flow.
Here’s how to get started:
- Set aside a time where you will be free of distractions
- Create a safe, cosy, inviting space with candles, your favourite music, thick blankets, and pillows, etc.)
- Get naked and slowly and lovingly begin massaging yourself with your favourite massage oil
- Pay attention to how you are feeling and what touches and movements you respond to most
- Play around with different strokes, speeds, and pressure
- Touch your inner thighs, ears, neck, chest, breasts, glutes, feet, back of the knees, wrists, arms, scalp, and hands, saving your yoni area for last (and only if she gives permission)
- Start working sound into every movement with a loose, relaxed, open mouth
- Make an audible “ahhh” or “mmmm” – or whatever sound you feel like – with each exhalation
- Focus on bringing each sound from deep within your body, bringing awareness to the connection between your yoni and your voice
- Explore your body and sounds for as long as desired, aiming to do this practice several times a week for at least a month
The goal here isn’t to orgasm (but hey, if you do, bonus!).
The true priority here is deepening the connection between your voice and your yoni and increasing your self-awareness of how they relate to each other.
Tips for Using Your Voice and Expressing Your Desires to Your Partner
To get better at voicing your needs to your partner, work on opening up clear and honest communication by:
- Asking your partner to check in with you during sex to see how you are feeling, what you are enjoying, or if you are uncomfortable about anything
- Being clear with your partner if you are feeling anxious or worried about something
- Telling your partner how and where you want to be touched
- Expressing your needs regularly – the more you do it, the more comfortable it will get
- Letting your partner know what you need more of (i.e. foreplay, kissing, cuddling, attention to a certain area of your body, a change in scenery, a different position, a sensual massage, etc.)
- Letting your partner know if you want less of something (i.e. I love when you touch my clit… I’d love if you’d do a little less pressure and go a little faster)
- Discussing each other’s expectations and beliefs about sex
It is okay if you need to start slowly. You don’t even need to speak in full sentences to guide your partner.
A simple moan, sound, or just a few words can convey the point:
- Don’t stop
- Try this (then use your hand to guide your partner with how you want to be touched instead)
- Not so deep
- That’s perfect
- Keep going
Want to Learn More About Transforming Your Sex Life and Owning Your Sexuality?
Voicing your needs and desires during sex is a powerful, important act of self-love. If you feel uncomfortable as you work on expressing yourself – that is okay. Show yourself grace, patience, and love.
With time, you will get more comfortable sharing your needs and being open, honest, and clear with your partner. Remind yourself that you deserve to own and enjoy your sexuality.
Most importantly, remember that you are not alone in how you feel. I warmly invite you to join my private Facebook group where you can talk openly and safely with other women who can relate to you.
You can also contact me for personalised advise and product recommendations that can assist you on your journey of discovering your voice and owning your sexual power.
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