What Does It Mean to Be Sex-Positive? Why Does It Matters for You and Your Family?
Let’s face it, most of us didn’t grow up with open, shame-free conversations about sex, bodies, and pleasure. If we were lucky enough to have “the talk,” it was often a one-time, awkward event focused on avoiding pregnancy or STIs, not about understanding our bodies, our desires, or how to navigate healthy relationships. It’s time we rewrite that script and our kids are ready for it.
Raising sex-positive children isn’t just about “having the talk”, it’s about building a relationship where your child feels safe to ask questions, explore ideas, and come to you when they’re unsure. In today’s world, where children are exposed to a wide range of messages about bodies, relationships, and identity, the most powerful thing you can offer is open, ongoing, and non-judgemental communication.
Sex-positive parenting isn’t permissive, it’s proactive. It’s about teaching our children that their bodies are their own, that their feelings are valid, and that they deserve respectful, honest information
Welcome to the era of sex-positivity.
What Is Sex-Positivity?
Being sex-positive means approaching sex, pleasure, and relationships from a place of openness, respect, and non-judgement. It’s about knowing your own values, ethics, and boundaries and recognising that others may have different ones. It’s not about pushing any specific agenda. It’s about creating space for safe, informed, and respectful exploration.
It’s also about how we talk (or don’t talk) about sex and bodies. Being sex-positive means:
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Using accurate, respectful language for body parts (yes, that means “vulva,” “penis,” and “testicles” from birth).
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Talking about consent, pleasure, boundaries, and respect as natural parts of sex and relationships.
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Understanding that these conversations are ongoing, not one-off lectures.
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Listening without judgment, validating your child’s curiosity, and making space for age-appropriate discussions.
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Creating a home environment where terms like “vulva,” “pleasure,” and “consent” are not taboo.
Sex-Positivity Starts at Home
From nappy changes to teen years, sex education starts early and at home. It’s not just about teaching kids what sex is, but helping them understand their bodies, emotions, values, and choices.
This can mean:
- Normalising conversations about bodies and relationships from the start.
- Answering their questions and if you need time to respond thoughtfully, that’s okay! Just communicate that clearly (“That’s a great question, let me think about how to explain it best and we’ll chat soon.”).
- Being the trusted source, so they don’t have to rely solely on Google, friends, or porn.
Did you know? In Australia, the average age of intentional first exposure to porn is just 13! and unintentional exposure happens around 9. That means we need to be having these conversations early and often.
The good news? Kids want to talk about this stuff with their parents. A recent video by Annika Holland showed that 99% of 15-year-olds asked said they wished their parents had spoken to them more openly about sex without the awkwardness or judgment.
So, how can you begin?
- Ask open-ended questions:
“What are your friends talking about these days?”
“What do you think about this article on consent?”
“Have you heard about this topic before?”
- Avoid assumptions, and meet them where they’re at. Don’t jump to conclusions, just listen.
- Be open about the grey areas like changing your mind during sex. Talk about how consent is ongoing, not a one-time checkbox.
- Keep it positive. No shame, guilt, or fear-based messages. This builds trust and keeps the door open for future conversations.
Whether you’re just beginning or deep in the parenting trenches, Annika’s Raising Sex Positive Kids is a must-have resource for families who want to do better, and be better when it comes to raising informed, empowered, and respectful young people.
Inside, you'll find:
- Age-appropriate examples of how to talk about sex and consent
- Conversation starters for porn, pleasure, and peer pressure
- Tools for building a judgment-free, body-positive home
You can watch Annika’s incredibly informative video on this topic here or access it inside our Golden Yoni Membership, which is now 50% off using code PLEASURE50.
Being sex-positive doesn’t mean you have all the answers. It means you’re open to learning, growing, and showing up without shame or fear for yourself and your family.
Let’s raise a generation who knows that their body is not a source of embarrassment, but of joy, power, and possibility.
Join the movement.
Start the conversation.
And remember, our kids want us to.
Below are some helpful resources for parents and educators who want to deepen their understanding and feel more confident supporting children as they grow with curiosity, confidence, and respect.
- Raising Sex Positive Kids with Annika Holland – Yoni Pleasure Palace
- Talk soon. Talk often. A guide for parents talking to their kids about sex
- Tip Sheet: Age-Appropriate Sexual Behavior | Stop It Now
- Resources - Sex Positive Families
With Love & Respect,
Mikay
