You are worthy of love just for being on this planet. Remember that.

But receiving that love can be easier said than done.

One of the most important (and underrated) types of love out there? Self-love. 

Self-love is the root of your confidence, of all of your relationships, of so many things – including your libido. 

If your sexual desire has plummeted or has been more ebbing than flowing lately, then you may want to take a look at where your self-love is. Here’s how. 

The link between libido and self-love

How does self-love affect your libido – and vice versa?

Self-love can look different for everyone, but there are some overarching themes. A lot of self-love comes down to your connection to yourself and your value. Value is not something that’s tangible or that you can put a number on. It’s what you feel you bring to the world. Your gifts, your presence, your special sauce.

When you don’t feel valuable or connected to yourself, it’s hard to feel connected to your body and your sense of pleasure

Self-love check-in

Your first step toward getting your libido back? Doing a little self-love check-in. 

Grab your journal, light some candles, do whatever you like to do to get into the zone. Then ask yourself these questions.

  • On a scale of 1 to 10, where is my self-love at, today and in general?
  • What practices boost my self-love?
  • What habits are draining my self-love?
  • What does the relationship between my libido and self-love feel like?

Doing this will help you get clarity on where you’re at, and what you need to do to increase your libido and your self-love.

Boosting your self-love

Increasing your self-love can be a lot easier said than done. Still, there are so many practical steps you can take to help you on your journey. 

In a way, these practices are cumulative. The more you do them, the more your self-love will increase. 

  • Doing movement practices like yoga or dance
  • Getting in touch with your creativity
  • Getting mental health support through therapy or a coach

And of course one of our favorite self-love practices…masturbation.

Back in your libido

When you’re able to connect with your body and your sense of pleasure through masturbation, you can increase your overall self-love and your libido. 

When you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, it shows up during sex, whether that’s with yourself or a partner. You might have a hard time feeling pleasant and feeling all the nuances of pleasure that can come up. You may just feel like you’re going through the motions, versus actually enjoying the experience.

Being intentional about how you practice self-love can make a world of difference.

Try approaching masturbation as a ritual, or at least a little date with yourself. Set the stage, romance yourself, take a bit to get into your body through some gentle movement or massaging yourself. Really take your time.

One of our favorite toys for practicing self-love is The Fleur – a gently curved wand with a three-tiered ribbed end and one hooked bulbous end. Carved from Brazilian Rose Quartz, this wand is meant to help you amplify self-love, self-worth, and romance.


When you intentionally practice self-love through masturbation and other practices, you’ll start to feel your libido gradually increasing, until you’re full of self-love.

Another great way to connect with your self-love and boost your libido? Joining our Golden Yoni Membership. 

Discover the beauty of our Golden Yoni Membership: a nurturing sanctuary for helping women deepen their sexual connection. Led by founder Rosie Rees, journey through sensual self-discovery, sexual mastery, yoni dearmouring and powerful pelvic floor practices designed to up-level your pleasure. Access 14 enriching modules for only AUD$40 a month — equivalent to approximately $1.42 a day — to honor your feminine essence. Join our loving community, embrace monthly sisterhood circles, and grow with insightful sexpert guest appearance lectures. Welcome home to holistic love, yoni healing, and sexual self-discovery.
May 07, 2024 — Natasha Weiss

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