Although most people have heard of tantra, few people truly know what it entails, how to practice it, and the many benefits of it. Here, we'll look at tips for practicing tantric sex, both through masturbation and with a partner.

What Is Tantra?

Although sex is the first thing to come to mind when it comes to tantra, it ultimately comes down to a deep connection between you and a partner or with yourself.

The word itself, derived from Sanskrit, means to "weave energy" or "web". It is all about spiritual and sexual awareness and enlightenment by engaging in intimate, spontaneous, meditative connection and sex.

What Are the Benefits of Tantra?


Learning and practicing tantra can help you:

  • Become more in-tune with your body

  • Enhance the way your body feels pleasure

  • Learn more about what gives you pleasure

  • Discover your body's wants and needs

  • Intensify your orgasms

  • Channel energy throughout your body

  • Get to know your partner's body better

  • Create a more harmonious bond with your partner

  • Become more spiritually present and physically aware

  • Explore deeper aspects of your personality

  • Truly know yourself (and your partner) inside and out

How Do I Get Started Practicing Tantra?

Are you interested in practicing tantra and overwhelmed with how to start? Do you want to try tantra but aren't sure how to bring up the conversation with your partner?

Here are some easy tips for getting started with tantra, whether by yourself or with a partner:

  • Begin with a clear mindset to allow yourself to connect with your soul, mind, and body

  • Be willing to step out of your comfort zone and learn more about yourself

  • Spend 10 to 15 minutes meditating to prepare your mind for tantra

  • Seek out a teacher to help you (or you and a partner) learn more about the practice of tantra

  • Listen closely to your partner and any hesitation or questions they may have and respect their decision

  • Spend 30 minutes a day journaling

How To Prepare Your Mind For Tantra Practice

Since tantra is a spiritual practice, your mind plays as much of a role as your body. Here is a simple breathwork exercise to try to get prepped for tantra practice:

  • Breathe gently, all the way down into your lower back and belly, for 15 to 30 minutes

  • Focus intently on what is going on in your mind

  • Gently stretch for a few minutes, clearing your mind and breathing deeply and consciously as you go and easing away any negative thoughts

How To Prepare Your Space for Tantra Practice

Tantra is not about orgasm or sex -- it is all about the journey. Having a relaxed, calm environment is key for helping you fully enjoy that journey.

Try the following tips to ensure your space is set up properly for tantra practice:

  • Keep your room at a comfortable temperature

  • Use candles or tinted light bulbs to give the room a sensual, soft touch

  • Burn incense, light a candle, or diffuse your favourite essential oil to add a sexy, enjoyable (not overwhelming) scent to the room

  • Use plush cushions or a throw pillow to soften the space

  • Play music to set a sexual, romantic vibe

How To Prepare Your Body For Tantra Practice

Whether alone or with a partner, is it important to prep your body for tantra practice. Along with preparing your mind and space, try these tips for preparing your body:

  • Give yourself a full body massage using your favourite lotion or oil. You can also have your partner massage you. Focus on your inner thighs, groin, neck, arms, legs, belly, and chest.

  • Take time to explore your genitals by touching yourself in new ways, using different strokes, changing up your speed, and using harder or softer touches

  • Breathe deeply and slowly during masturbation and meditation

  • Be fully present and allow yourself to focus intently on the different sensations you feel

  • Allow yourself to experience your emotions fully

  • Tap into your inner energy and power

  • Set an intention (this could be anything from feeling more comfortable in your skin, connecting with yourself, experiencing an orgasm, or building your self-love)

  • If with a partner, enjoy a shower together, look into each other's eyes as you sit directly across from each other, touch each other sensually, take turns massaging each other, kiss -- enjoy the build up!


Does Tantra Always Involve Sex?

Of course, tantra offers a natural build up that often leads to sex. However, it all comes down to connection. If you choose to have sex, move forward slowly and with intent. And feel free to get creative with new positions or desires. Allow yourself to be fully immersed in the experience.

Tips For A Deeper Tantra Practice With a Partner

  • Lay together and cuddle either spooning or with your hearts and stomach aligned -- either position allows for energy exchange and enhanced connection (this allows for energy exchange and connection -- spooning is especially great for this)

  • When cuddling, allow your breaths to harmonize

  • Let the intensity build

  • Gaze into each other's eyes for as long as possible without blinking

  • Be clear and honest with your partner about what you like and have your partner do the same

  • Set a clear intention for your tantra practice so you know what you want to get out of it (i.e. better sex, a strengthened relationship, a closer connection to yourself or your partner)

General Tantra Tips

Here are a few tips for getting the most out of your tantra practice and making it as unique, gratifying, and enjoyable as possible:

  • You can stay fully clothed or be completely naked -- it all comes down to your comfort level

  • Focus on breathing deeply and being present in the moment

  • Engage all your senses by playing soft music, lighting candles, touch yourself or your partner slowly, stare into your partner's eyes, putting out soft blankets, etc.

  • Take it nice and slow, relax your mind, and soak in every second of your tantra practice

  • Ease into tantra practice by adding in one or two elements of it at a time, either by yourself or with a partner

  • Have fun and feel free to experiment

  • Take time to explore your body or your partner's body

Breathing Tips for Tantra

Deep, intentional breathing is key to any tantric practice. Proper breathing helps free your mind, open your body, connect you to yourself or your partner, and feel sensations deeper. Try these tantra breathing exercises on your own or with your partner.

The Stimulating Breath

The stimulating breath can help boost energy and heighten awareness:

  • Close your eyes

  • Soften your belly

  • Quickly inhale and exhale through your nose (be sure to keep your mouth closed)

  • Do three in-and-out breaths each second for a total of 15 seconds

  • Once the breathing cycle ends, breathe normally, then repeat for 20 seconds

  • Increase each cycle by 5 seconds until you reach a full minute

The 4-7-8 Breath

The 4-7-8 breathing technique encourages relaxation and decreased tension. This is a great technique to try while sitting across from a partner:

  • Exhale through your mouth before closing it

  • Inhale gently through your nose while mentally counting to 4

  • Hold your breath as you count to 7 in your head

  • Exhale completely through your mouth to a count of eight

  • Repeat the cycle a total of three more times

The Counting Breath

The counting breath is a form of meditation that helps clear your mind, center yourself, and connect with your body:

  • Take a few deep breaths with your eyes closed

  • Breath naturally before inhaling, then counting "one" as you exhale

  • As you exhale again, count out "two"

  • Work your way up to 5 before repeating the cycle

What Are Some Good Tantra Positions?

As tantra focuses on connection rather than certain movements, any position can be used in practice. To get started, here are some great tantra positions to try with a partner.


With a partner:

  • With your partner sitting cross-legged, sit on your partner's upper thighs

  • Cross your ankles behind their back

  • Stare into each other's eyes and synchronize your breathing


By yourself:

  • Sit cross-legged with palms on your knees

  • Keep a straight back

  • Breathe slowly and deeply

Hand on Heart

With a partner:

  • Face your partner and sit cross-legged

  • Place your right hand on their heart

  • Have your partner place their right hand on your heart

  • Close your eyes and tune into each other's heart rhythms

  • Focus deeply on the emotion and energy between your partner and yourself

  • Allow the connection to build between your hand and your partner's heart

By yourself:

  • Sit cross-legged with a straight back

  • Place your right hand over your heart

  • Close your eyes

  • Focus on your heart's rhythm

  • Tune in to your emotion and energy

  • Feel the connection between your hand and your heart build

The Relaxed Arch

With a partner:

  • Have your partner sit upright on the floor or a bed with straight legs

  • Sit on your knees on your partner's lap

  • Once you get comfortable, slowly arch your back

  • Rest your head between your partner's legs

  • Grab hold of your partner's feet or ankles

By yourself:

  • Sit on your knees on the floor or your bed

  • Arch your back slowly once you are comfortable

  • Rest your head gently on the floor or the bed

  • Stretch your arms above your head

  • Face your palms downward

  • Use one hand to explore your body

Orgasm Control for Tantra

Controlling your orgasm -- also known as edging -- is a great way to experience deeper, more powerful, more explosive climaxes. To do this, let yourself come right to the edge of orgasm before pulling back just before climax. Feel the orgasmic, tingling sensations build throughout your body before starting again.

Repeat as many times as you wish before finally allowing yourself the full release of an intense, full-body, mind-bending orgasm.


Sacred Spot Massage for Tantra

To do sacred spot massage, gently rub your partner's upper wall of their vagina or their prostate gland. Allow the energy and heat to grow and focus on helping your partner built up release emotions.

Are You Curious To Try Tantra?

Have you tried tantric sex before? Have you always wanted to practice tantra but haven't been sure how? I highly recommend tantra for connecting on a deeper level with both yourself and your partner.

Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions or join my private Facebook group dedicated to providing a safe space for women to share all their thoughts and questions on sex, self-love, and relationships.

March 09, 2021 — Rosie Rees

Leave a comment

Please note: comments must be approved before they are published.