Relationships are one of the most beautiful parts of being human. But it's normal for your sex life to ebb and flow.

Life happens. You have kids or pets. Work gets busy. You experience your own highs and lows. All of these things can impact your sex life.

But for most people, sex is at the core of your romantic relationships. Intimacy is the glue in relationships. So when desire wanes, it can in turn affect your relationship. You might feel more distant from your partner, experience more conflicts, and just not feel satisfied in your relationship.

It’s not uncommon for desire to wane in long-term relationships, but when it does, it’s helpful to have a guide to reference so you can get your desire back.

1) Reframe intimacy

While sex is important, sometimes it’s hard to really get there. Maybe you just had a baby or have gone through a big life event where you just need to focus on reconnecting with your partner.

Ideally, intimacy means sex, but it certainly doesn’t have to. Intimacy is anything that helps you get closer to your partner, but the physical touch component is incredibly important.

Physical touch releases oxytocin (the love chemical). This chemical helps bond you together and break up any tension in your relationship. Oxytocin is also released when you have an orgasm!

Outside of having sex, you can increase your intimacy by cuddling, making out, or giving each other full body massages.

2) Schedule sex

Scheduling sex may seem unsexy. But as a grown adult with a whole lot of responsibilities – it’s a necessity. Busy people need to make time for intimacy. Remember that just because it’s not spontaneous doesn’t mean it’s not full of passion.

If anything, scheduling sex helps you and your partner carve out time when you know you won’t be distracted and can be completely focused on and dedicated to each other. 

Think about it this way, you schedule workout classes, community events, and work, but you also need to schedule in time for your relationship – whatever you can commit to even if it’s just once a month. Scheduling sex is all about dedicating time to your relationship and making intimacy with your partner a priority.

If you need extra support on how to recreate the sexual spark with your partner, book a 1:1 coaching call with Relationship & Sexuality Coach, Rosie Rees. It’s mind-blowing what you can process in 60 minutes together on Zoom and how instantly your relationship dynamic can change from one call.  

3) Take turns

If you and your partner are experiencing a lull in libido, it’s really easy to just go through the motions when you do actually have sex. One way you can switch this up is by taking turns on who receives pleasure. 

That could mean taking an entire sex period dedicated to your pleasure through oral or yoni massage, and the same for your partner (regardless of their gender).

In the Golden Yoni Membership, we offer a conscious blow job and hand job guide, golden yoni a cock worship ritual, a blow job ritual, and a yoni massage ritual. Sex is a ritual!

4) Get curious

You and your partner are both constantly growing and evolving. They might have new sexual curiosities or ones that you’ve never learned about. 

We invite you to get curious about your partner and ask them what they fantasize about, what they love in bed, and what they want to try.

These Cards for Lovers ($29.95 AUD) are great for opening up these sexy conversations. An erotic relationship needs effective communication to thrive. When it comes to talking about sex, many of us feel ‘stuck’, unable to bring up what we like, and want to try or share our sexual needs with our partners. 

Cards for Lovers is designed to remove any awkwardness and instead, spark sexy conversation with a focus on playfulness, curiosity, and connection. When you’re done talking, you can select an Ignite card from the bottom of the pack to inspire some intimate and sensual fun.

5) Spice it up

If the libido is off in your relationship, you may need to try something new. After you get curious about what you and your partner want to try – it’s time to get down to it.

Exploring the world of kink is a great way to spice things up. That could look like restraint play, temperature play, or sensory play. 

Our BDSM Set has everything you need to get started including a collar, cuffs, ball gag, blindfold, hogtie, and spanking flogger to provide a wide range of options for play. The vegan leather (PU) material is comfortable to wear, while still maintaining a high level of durability and strength. 

The collar and cuffs feature adjustable closures, allowing for a customized fit. The ball gag is made with a silicone mouthpiece for comfort, and the blindfold blocks out light for heightened sensory play. This set also includes the hogtie and spanking flogger so you can play around with it in a variety of ways. It has everything you need to reignite desire in your relationship!

You might also like to work through the Squirt School online course together as a couple *wink wink*