How to communicate your desire for spice with your partner

Here’s a topic that can make even the most confident of us blush: communicating our deepest desires to spice things up in the bedroom. It's normal to feel a little shy or apprehensive about opening up! Here are some ways to communicate your fantasies and amp up the excitement in your love life. Let's unlock the magic of expressing your desires as sweetly and comfortably as possible.

Self-Acceptance is Key

Before embarking on the journey of sharing your fantasies, embracing and accepting your desires as a natural part of who you are is essential. There's nothing wrong or shameful about exploring your sexuality. Allow yourself to release any judgement or guilt holding you back. Accepting and embracing your desires gives you the confidence to communicate them with your partner. Journaling around your desires and fantasies might be a great first step in understanding what you want and helping you to feel confident communicating it.

This Journal by Sammi is a beautiful place to start

The Pleasure Journal includes prompts to support your exploration

Create a Safe and Trusting Environment:

Building a foundation of trust and safety is vital when discussing intimate matters. Find a comfortable and private space where you and your partner can converse openly without distractions. Express your desire for open communication and assure your partner that you value their feelings and boundaries. Create an atmosphere of acceptance and non-judgment, emphasising that this conversation is about enhancing your connection and pleasure. Sometimes, having these conversations OUTSIDE of the bedroom is the better approach as it can take away that pressure to perform or immediately take action on the thoughts you’re discussing.

Start Slowly

If you're shy or unsure about expressing your fantasies, starting with small steps is perfectly okay. Begin by talking about your desires in a general sense without going into explicit details. For example, you can say, "I've been thinking about trying something new and exciting in the bedroom. What do you think about exploring different ways to enhance our intimacy?" This opens the door for further conversation and allows your partner to share their thoughts.

Use Sensual Inspiration

Sometimes, finding the right words can be a challenge. In such cases, let other forms of expression talk for you. Share a steamy novel or an intimate movie that aligns with your desires. Watching or reading together can spark conversations and create a relaxed atmosphere to discuss your desires. You can say, "I came across this book/movie, and it got me thinking about what we could explore together. What are your thoughts?

Play the "What-If" Game

If you find it challenging to express your fantasies directly, a playful and lighthearted approach can work wonders. Engage in a "What If" game where you and your partner take turns sharing hypothetical scenarios or fantasies. This game creates a safe space to discuss desires without feeling vulnerable or exposed. It can lead to exciting conversations and help you explore new ideas together.

Write a Love Note

A heartfelt and sensual love note can do wonders for those who find it difficult to express themselves verbally. Take a moment to write down your desires, fantasies, and what you'd love to explore with your partner. Express your love, admiration, and excitement for your shared intimacy. Leave the note where your partner will find it, creating a surprise that invites further conversation and ignites curiosity.

Seek Inspiration Together

If you're hesitant about sharing your desires, explore new ideas to reignite your relationship’s passion. Research together, read articles or listen to podcasts about spicing things up in the bedroom. This external inspiration can open up discussions and create a safe platform for both of you to share your desires, knowing that you're on this journey together.

Open communication is the key to a fulfilling and passionate love life. Take it slow, create a safe space, and be gentle with yourself. The more you practise expressing your desires, the easier it will become. Your partner will be grateful for your openness, and together you can embark on a journey of exploration and pleasure.