What feelings come up when you hear the word “fisting”? Just clicking on this blog may elicit taboo feelings of eroticism and excitement. 

Fisting tends to only be thought of in the context of raunchy porn. Or there can be shame around it, especially in hetero dynamics because of the societal conditioning that women need to be “petite and tight”. Fisting is the antithesis of the glorification of vaginal tightness. 

But practicing conscious fisting can be incredibly intimate, sensual, and euphoric – bringing on internal orgasms that will blow your mind. Fisting creates a feeling of (literal) expansiveness. It broadens the possibilities of female pleasure and frankly, it’s so hot when you’re that wet, juicy, and aroused.

What is fisting?

Contrary to popular belief, fisting doesn’t mean just making a fist and sticking it inside someone. That probably wouldn’t be comfortable for anyone even with a whole lot of lube.

Instead of your standard fist, you make what people in the fisting community call a “silent duck”. This is when you (or your partner) pull your pinky and index fingers toward the middle finger and fold your thumb up against the bottom of your fingers to create a duckbill shape. The more tapered your hand is, the easier it is to insert.

Now that you know what fisting requires – here’s 3 steps to help you get started!

1) Create a sense of safety

Safety is incredibly important when trying out fisting – both emotional and physical safety. Fisting is incredibly intimate and requires a whole lot of surrender, much like anal sex. 

When a woman is aroused, she’s wet and open, laying the foundation for deep internal orgasms. Orgasms that can only come from being incredibly open, relaxed, and receptive. 

The first step in creating a sense of safety is to talk to your partner, tell them what you want to experience, any anxieties you may have, and set the tone for a deeply intimate experience. You want to make sure you’re on the same page about moving slowly and it’s helpful to make a safe word too. 

2) Get your gear

Fisting can be HOT and juicy – and can even lead to squirting. You can protect your mattress by laying down a squirt blanket. Lube is a must-have for fisting, to make it more pleasurable and also to prevent any possible injuries. This Yinn Oil Based Lubricant ($49.00 AUD) creates a superior glide with a silky blend of organic argan, hemp seed, pumpkin seed, and seabuckthorn oils.

If you don’t have a partner or if your partner’s fist is too thick can use a toy – here are our picks:

The BDE Glass Dildo ($89.00 AUD): Is perfectly shaped and ribbed for deep, fulfilling penetration. Its sleek design promises intense sensations and ultimate pleasure.

The Eros Wand ($199.00 AUD): Has rounded ends for smooth and slick deep internal pleasure with one bulbous thicker end for G-Spot activation and a longer tapered end for cervical massage.

The Yang XL ($219 AUD): This elegantly curved stone dildo offers a thickness and girth that brings about a full, stretching feeling internally – much like fisting.

3) Prepare and practice

Ready to get started with fisting? Remember that this is a sexual act that requires preparation and practice.

Here’s some other tips to keep in mind:

• Make sure nails are trimmed and filed – you don’t want to create any internal nicks or cuts.
• Plenty of lube – like A LOT.
• Warm up by penetration with as many fingers as will fit, a smaller dildo, or your partner’s penis (if they have one).
• Having an orgasm before can help warm up your pelvic floor muscles to make you ready for something larger.
• There are a few movements people love while fisting – rolling the knuckles inside the vagina, spreading the fingers, and even waving them.
• Maintaining clitoral stimulation while being fisted helps to keep you turned on and relaxed while increasing pleasure.
• Stay relaxed and connect with your body and your breath throughout the experience.
• Communicate how you’re feeling and if you need to slow down or stop (that’s where the safe word comes into play).
• Just like you took your time with insertion, you’ll also want your partner to take their time slowly removing their hand.

Fisting can take time – and it should to avoid any injury. There’s no pressure to achieve any sort of goal and if it’s not working for you on a certain day you can always try another time!

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