Would you believe me if I told you that you are capable of having 11 different types of orgasms? Many women I talk to are completely shocked by this fact. But as wild as it might sound to you, it is true!
Some women find that they can only have a clitoral orgasm with a vibrator, some find that intercourse is only mildly pleasurable (or even painful in some cases), some women feel numbness in certain areas of the vagina, and others have never had an orgasm at all.
While all of these scenarios are entirely normal, they do not have to be your reality.
If you feel like your G-spot is just a myth or find it surprising that you can have more types of orgasms than you ever thought, I want to help you learn how to open yourself up to true, reliable sexual pleasure and ecstasy.
One of the first things to consider if you are feeling stalled in your sexual pleasure is the concept of genital armouring.
WHAT IS GENITAL ARMOURING?
Wilhelm Reich, often referred to as the father of somatic psychology, introduced the concept of body armouring. He surmised that traumatic life events can cause individuals to subconsciously withdraw from life experiences. This internal withdrawal results in hardening of muscle tissue -- body armouring -- as a sort of protective mechanism.
Many women have never heard of body armouring and are unaware of the negative effects it can have on erogenous zones and pleasure.
CAUSES OF BODY AND GENITAL ARMOURING
Body armouring can affect any area of the body that has been subjected to physical injury or assault. It can also occur in response to emotional or mental pain.
Genital armouring, specifically, has a wide range of potential causes:
Being taught that sexual pleasure is impure, scary, shameful, sinful, wrong, or dirty in any way
Being shamed or judged
Being told that "good girls do not... masturbate, make a mess during sex, enjoy sex, have sex, touch themselves, etc.
Being slut-shamed (called a slut, whore, or tramp for enjoying and having sex)
Sex before you were ready
Sex without enough lubrication
Feeling disconnected from our primal urges and desires as a result of cultural judgments or assumptions
A toxic relationship
And, not surprisingly, it can result from traumatic events such as abuse, or rape
HOW DOES GENITAL BODY ARMOURING MANIFEST ITSELF?
Traumatic experiences can lock up energy in the nervous system, resulting in internal contractions or hardening of tissue. This hardened tissue and emotional blockage leads to reduced sensation or even a complete lack of sensation. Some women feel numbness, pain, irritation, or any mix of sensations.
Sometimes I have even heard women describe it as feeling like an actual layer of armour. Sometimes there is no sensation at all, and you just feel completely numb. Some people may feel pain or irritation. One can experience any and all of these manifestations of body armouring in different stages of healing.
Melting this body armour is key to accessing your full pleasure potential and the good news is that it is fully possible.
6 WAYS TO DEARMOUR YOUR VAGINA AND MAXIMIZE YOUR ORGASMIC POWER
Now that we have talked about what genital armouring is, let's look at how to help your body release its armour and open itself up to pleasure instead. Here comes the fun part!
These 6 tips can help you maximize your pleasure and fully experience your true sexual potential.
1. Repeat After Me: There Is Nothing Wrong With You
The most important step is accepting that your body is functioning exactly as it should. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed of what you are feeling (or not feeling) or going through.
Wherever you are at and whatever you are experiencing, view yourself with compassion, patience, and complete gentleness.
2. Create a Healing Ritual
Healing and releasing genital armouring is a spiritual, delicate, sacred, profound practice. This deep act of self-love requires absolute emotional and spiritual dedication, both internally and externally.
Externally, begin by setting up a sacred space or "temple". This can be any room where you feel completely safe and at ease. Enhance the setting with soft pillows, gentle music, sensual aromas, candles, and anything else you desire for your sacred healing session.
Internally, connect with yourself through any activity that keeps you relaxed, connected to yourself, and present. This could include things such as:
Gentle yoga or stretching
3. Maximize Healing Potential
The next step is to maximize your healing potential with the combined potential of breath, awareness, and touch.
Using an organic, toxin-free lubricant or oil such as our Yoni Elixir, begin by gently and lovingly massaging your vulva. Be sure to be compassionate, present, accepting of yourself, and practice deep breathing.
Be sure to massage, caress, touch, and stroke every single part of your inner labia, perineum, clitoral shaft, pelvic floor, groin muscles, and outer labia. Leave no part unloved or unexplored.
Be gentle and pay special attention to any areas of irritation, hypersensitivity, numbness, tension, or pain. Any of these sensations suggest areas of body armour. It is also important to note pleasurable feelings as well since these areas allow us to engage the armoured areas of the body and, in turn, dearmour them.
4. Get Down With Yourself
Once you feel at ease and fully aroused from your massage, start to focus on heightening any pleasurable sensations you felt. A great way to start is by touching your clitoris in whatever way feels best to you.
As you stimulate your clitoris, maintain slow, relaxed, deep breaths. If you notice yourself tightening or contracting in response to the pleasure, slow down until you are able to fully relax again.
Remember, this is a sacred experience. There is no room for stressing, rushing, or judging. Enjoy the experience, love yourself, accept yourself, and immerse yourself in the beauty of self-healing.
5. Master "Transference"
Once you are experiencing a 5 on the pleasure scale (with 1 being not turned on at all and 10 being orgasm), you can add internal stimulation to the mix. When your vagina is completely ready for internal stimulation, you will know.
For internal massage, you can use your fingers, your favorite sex toy, or whatever you are comfortable with.
If you would prefer to use a toy, I recommend one of our Pleasure Wands.
For women with smaller/tighter vaginas or an over-active pelvic floor, I recommend our petite wand, The Virgin.
Many women find they have armouring directly at the opening of the vagina, so be especially mindful in this area. Gently place the tip of your finger or your toy into the opening and slowly apply pressure.
If you notice any areas of irritation, pain, or resistance, simply maintain pressure while stimulating the clitoris. The goal is to shift the pleasure you feel from your clitoral stimulation to the area of resistance or pain. This is referred to as "transference".
Transferring pleasure from one point to another is key to healing yourself and accessing your full pleasure potential.
6. Keep Up the Pleasure
During this part of the healing session, set your intention to enjoying and increasing pleasure. Pay attention to areas of pleasure and take note of areas lacking pleasure.
When you come across areas lacking in pleasurable feelings, try to relax and breath through it. And do not be alarmed if your entire vagina seems armoured to begin with. This is absolutely normal and no reason to feel discouraged.
Continue stimulating your vagina where you feel enjoyable sensations while gently and simultaneously stimulating -- one at a time -- areas lacking pleasure. Keep doing this until the sensations sync up.
At any point in the dearmouring process -- and especially this step -- you may feel memories or emotions stirred up. You may also experience irritation or pain as a result of these memories and emotions.
Keep breathing and stay as relaxed as possible. Try to continue with gentle stimulation as the emotions and any accompanying sensations pass. This release is a pivotal point in the healing process.
Once the emotional charge passes, the body armouring dissolves. This process will help you connect to yourself, reawaken your senses, heighten your pleasure, and increase your body's orgasm potential.
LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR ORGASMIC POTENTIAL AND VAGINAL DEARMOURING
To learn more about body armouring, I give an in-depth explanation of how to dearmour your vagina here.
I also invite you to join my private facebook group - Yoni Pleasure Palace. In this sacred space, no question is off-limits.
I look forward to helping you experience the wonders of truly accepting and understanding your body.
Wishing you healing and pleasure!